After two (un)eventful years living in Glendale, it's time to move. More like get the fuck out, actually. Time to move over the hill into Los Angeles proper, and to get away from all the neighbors who glare at us even when you hold the door open so the lady can push her baby stroller through, then glares at you like you took a shit on her father's corpse.
Man, that still bugs me. Ungrateful bitch. Shouldn't be breeding anyways.
Apologies, I digress. Here's some things that I want in a new neighborhood:
- A suitable bar within walking distance. VERY IMPORTANT. Someplace where the prices are reasonable, the bartender recognizes you, and douchebags are kept to a minimum.
- A suitable market on the way home from work. Something like a Trader Joe's or a Ralph's or something where I can grab the dinner I'm going to cook that night and has fresh produce. Not shit produce. Nobody likes shit produce.
- A suitable standard of living. I'm not expecting the Hollywood Hills, but I ain't living in a place where the first floor of every building has bars on the windows. No fire traps for me, thank you very much.
We've got until the 31st of January to find and move in. I don't know exactly how that's going to happen, but I will tell you this: After this lease is up, one roommate or less. New rule, write it down. Finding 3 bedrooms is a pain in the ass, especially when you're on a budget.
And no New Year's Resolutions. I don't believe in them. You can strive to make yourself better, but setting unrealistic goals (stop swearing, lose ten pounds, lay off the drink) just sets you suckers up for disappointment and falling back to old habits. There's things I'm going to change for the better, but trying to rewire your behavior is lunacy.
You suckers, you.
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