Packing up 2009

Hell, an entire decade. When the "Aughts" began, I was a junior in high school, and as they end I've hit several major milestones in my life. End of high school. The entirety of college. First live-in girlfriend. First job I truly hated. Watching one of my films on a (sort of) big screen. Layoffs and hires, several apartments, new and old roommates.

Now I'm 27, officially in my late 20's. Funny, I don't feel like an adult. It's true that I have more responsibilities, in both my personal and professional life, than I've ever had before. I'm now commonly addressed as Mr. Parker, and its hit or miss when bouncers check my ID. Yet I still view myself as a kid, a youngster whose parents have allowed him to stay up late and hang with the adults. If you are really only as old as you feel, then I feel as young as when I started the decade.

Except when I don't. Time marches on, even if I play the role of Peter and deny its effects. My back aches sometimes when I stress it. The occasional throb ripples forth from my knee. My hair is most definitely thinner than it was. I've been to funerals, weddings, said goodbye to old friends and hello to new ones. Time has laid her marks on me, whether I admit it or not.

In many respects I have changed, noticeably and greatly. I think I'm more comfortable with my life than I used to be. There was a solid period in the 2000's where I was a grumpy person, someone who grumbled at any situation, confident that my pessimistic outlook was reflective of truth. That attitude mellowed quite a bit, and earlier this year, upon hearing that I (along with all my co-workers) was to be laid off, I experienced what I will refer to as shakabuku - that swift spiritual kick to the head that alters one's perspective forever. I'm much happier than I used to be, and even when I complain, its with the knowledge that it could be worse. It could be raining.

So here I sit on the eve of heading home for a long weekend, celebrating another holiday season with those I love back home in the great state of Alaska. I can truly say I have two homes now, for as my soul belongs to the Great Land, it took a trip to New York City to come to terms with the fact that my heart belongs to Los Angeles. When I think of home it is finally L.A. I think of, a position I never would of thought to be in ten years ago. Evolution is real, it happens on scales grand and small. Often it takes a milestone to give us the briefest of pauses, a chance to look back in contemplation, a moment to catch our breath, smile like an idiot, then propel ourselves into that great unknown that is the future. Some people fear tomorrow; I embrace it tightly and with all the promise that a new lover brings.

Merry Christmas, everyone. See you on the other side.