Not to rain on her parade, but she's just the latest example of people I knew from high school who have A) been knocked up, B) knocked up somebody, C) been married, D) been divorced, or E) some and/or all of the above. Reality check - I'll be 26 in August (y'all better start shopping for my bday gifts, thanks) and since I have a late summer birthday, I was generally one of the oldest people in my grade.
*Well, I'm sure that stint in modified primary (AKA a bullshit grade between K and 1st) helped push me even older. The teachers told my mom that I was slow; my hand-eye coordination wasn't progressing as quickly as the other kids. Turned out all I needed was glasses, which they figured out when someone asked me if I could see the board, and I said "nope, it's blurry". It's a thin line between bad eyesight and retardation, I know. Idiots.
Back to the matter at hand, these people, with few exceptions, are younger than I am. Some by more than two or three years. Yet they have checked off some pretty big boxes on their "To Do" list in life. Then there's me, who maybe wants to have kids someday, when I have money and a career and time to support and raise them. Remove those factors, and there's one thing that stands in my way of joining my fellow high school chums.
I don't want to get married. Not now, not in the foreseeable future, and very likely not ever. Quite frankly, besides seeing my parents get divorced, (not to mention a majority of my aunts), marriage doesn't work. Definitely not for me. Getting married would kinda fly in the face of my somewhat new allergy to being in an exclusive relationship with someone. This wasn't always my position - I have several of my exes to thank (as well as a very wise man named Tom) for helping me to finally move past the idea that I need to be in exclusive relationships, let alone get married to someone.
Which cycles back to why it would be difficult for me to have a kid. I grew up in a divorce (granted, it was profoundly different than the vast majority of divorces, but that's a really long story which I write about when I damn well please), and I wouldn't want my kid to go through what I had to. Can I adopt a kid that comes with his own bank account? And can clean, feed, and amuse himself? That would probably work out.
GET BACK ON TRACK! Yes, sorry, that was too much backstory and not much of it was relevant (insert Star Wars prequel joke/allusion here). The point is, when 2011 rolls around, and if I decide to go to the reunion, here's what I'll see:
- Old cliques getting back together
- Women being pleasant to their face, bitchy behind their back
- More than 50% with kids and having some experience with being either in or out of marriage
- I'll have less hair and will be decently drunk, allowing me to make a few passes at the few women that have aged gracefully. They will of course flock to me like the salmon of Capistrano, and as I go home with them, the rest will go home with their husbands they really don't like anymore, and their fat annoying kids.
If there's no alcohol there, I'm going to be pissed.
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